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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380391">Janeway Beta</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/linguisticallycunning/pseuds/linguisticallycunning'>linguisticallycunning</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Today is Tomorrow [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: Voyager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dark Past, F/F, Femslash February, Lots of Angst, dark and dank, eventual sexy, havent seen it yet, no picard teasers, this is all conjecture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:00:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/linguisticallycunning/pseuds/linguisticallycunning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As Seven prepares to help Picard, she finds she needs the help of her long lost captain. Not a pretty future present here, folks. And for the record, I have not seen any of Picard yet, this is pure conjecture from the trailers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Today is Tomorrow [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>174</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bar was dank and dimly lit, the air thick with the smoky vapors of an alien’s pipe combined with wood smoke of the fires in the kitchen. There were no replicators here. This was the frontier. The edge of nowhere. And in this bar, there were no heroes. Just the broken souls of those defeated. Those that had abandoned hope. Those who laughed at the idea of redemption. It was not a pretty place and it was often cloaked with an ominous silence, obscuring speech until it disappeared into a whisper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’d come here to escape. To escape the inescapable. But a barren rock on the edges of the galaxy still wasn’t far enough. The ghosts she ran from inhabited her mind. They screamed and hollered, haunting her every moment. At least until she managed that first drink. Rai’kaw was nasty stuff but it had a phenomenal kick, obliterating reality until the drinker passed out. It was the drug of choice in these border colonies and it did the trick. Unfortunately, it left a vivid impression the next day, so vivid it generally sent the drinker right back to the bottle. It was a vicious cycle and one the denizens of the bar were determined to keep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had started so long ago, it felt like another lifetime. It was a different lifetime. There were still reasons to fight and still fight left in her. But fate had seen to that. And Starfleet. One she had never believed in, the other had betrayed her. It wasn’t just the betrayal either. It was the warping of moralities it seemed to trigger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she opened her eyes to face the harsh morning light, it was still then, for a moment. It was the best part of her day, those scant seconds back aboard that ship, hopelessly far away from anything she’d ever known. In those seconds, she was alive, the spark of vitality tingling through her limbs all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes. Her heart swelling, even pounding, in anticipation. But then, like smoke, it was gone, evaporating before her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The grief that followed was always immense, it came in waves of regret and tirades of anger. It was always enough to drive her from her sorry bed and out of the shambles she called home. It was a cabin, more or less. It could have been nice despite the barren landscape. It overlooked a ridge of dunes and there was a small pond not far up the narrow road. But she had taken no care to warm the interior. It was sparse inside, a minimum of furniture dotted about with no personalization whatsoever. No color. Not much light. It was in fact the prefab setting. And it didn’t matter. She never really saw where she was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A storm was gathering to the west. The arcing bolts lit the edges of the darkening sky. Sand began to whip in the swirling winds. It would be impassable in only a few moments and she’d already hesitated too long. There was a supply of Rai’kaw laid in, she had made sure of that. Shaking her head, she let the anger wash over her. She did not want to be alone with these ghosts. But she had little choice, she realized, as her eyes watched the ion storm gaining steam far above. The temperature plunged quickly and the hail began a moment later. Grabbing an armful of firewood, she made for the door, her heart pounding from the close strike of lightning seconds before. Dropping the wood in the pile, she turned to secure the door. Hail pelted down, a terrifying drumbeat echoing against the tritanium enforced roof. When she turned back, she suddenly realized she was not alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The intruder wasn’t visible though the aura imbued the entire cabin. Echoes of the past resounded off the walls heightened by the steady pounding rhythm of the hail. Her heart thundered still, as the shadows in the dim room gathered into shapes of the past. The ghosts swirled around her now, deafening her even to the gale outside. She ran into the tiny kitchen and fumbled awkwardly with the contents of a cabinet before her fingers fell upon the benighted bottle. Grasping it in her still shaking hand, she pulled it free and placed it heavily on the counter. Then she reached for a ration bar and crammed it in her mouth, her jaw working slowly around the tasteless grit of nutritional supplements. A smile flashed across her mind and she swallowed the bar almost all at once.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sputtering, she reached for the flask of water still strapped to her belt and she took a long gulp, forcing away the last of the ration residue. Her eyes were watering as she reached for a glass. Sadly ice rendered the Rai’kaw inert so she poured three fingers into the squat glass and carried it and the bottle into the lone armchair in the other room. She set her drink on the spindly end table before taking a sip. Looking at the sooty fireplace, she quickly knelt down and threw together the makings of a meager fire. Her kindling was insufficient and some of the wood was still damp but she managed to make some steady flames out of it. Satisfied with the scant warmth, she took her seat and with it her first swallow of her drink.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The effect was immediate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly it was twenty years ago again, so close she could almost reach out and touch it with her fingertips. So close were the faces, so close. But she drifted past them, borne on the first waves of the drink, her memories no longer in her control. Her past washed forth, spilling over her, soaking her in regrets. In words not said. In a past she changed but to what end really? She’d lost them all in the end anyway. She’d lost everyone she’d ever cared for, it seemed a lifelong pattern. So now she stayed back, solidly behind the armor of alcohol and cynicism and waited for each day to end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The storm outside continued, the intensity only growing as it wore on. Thunder drowned out the hail which had finally begun to slow. It was replaced by an icy rain that created rivers of mud between the dunes that surrounded the cabin. Sleep would not come, not with the storm, not with the memory she could not tear her eyes from. Fingers slipping from her grasp, the words dying on her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She woke in the chair with the first harsh light of day. The storm had subsided and the fire had died. Standing stiffly, the world around seemed strange, somehow changed by the visions of the night before and it made her feel uneasy. Shaking it off, she fell into routine, moving on autopilot, making coffee and stumbling into the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The storm had caused some damage but the roads had held. That was a blessing. It was hard enough to get out with the roads intact, nearly impossible when they were out, even on foot. But they seemed clear enough from the window. She would need to take the runabout into town for more supplies, her back stock had taken a pretty good hit. She could hit the bar when she was through. It was simple really, just an errand. She felt trepidatious anyway. Something was stirring though whether it was in the universe or inside herself she could not say. That storm had blown in on a dangerous wind and some instincts aren’t dulled by age.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ignoring the tightness in her gut, she forced down another ration bar, chasing it with the bitter end of what passed for coffee in these parts. She had traded for real coffee sometime back but that stock had long since run out. It’s replacement was close enough but it’s bitter aftertaste took some getting used to. The ration bars had as well but they sufficed and were better than the hunger pangs. Besides, they soaked up the booze, otherwise she’d be ill every night. She learned the first night that she couldn’t drink Rai’kaw on an empty stomach. The violence of that first hangover stuck with her and she’d learned her lesson. So she ate ration bars. And added supplements to her coffee. That was one thing available readily, supplements. Both legal and illegal, there was a vibrant trade in the synthetics. Many were actually for health purposes but then there were the enhancers. They were not to be fooled around with, there was nothing healthy about the heavy narcotics and amphetamines being peddled by the slick traders. They were a race new to the Alpha Quadrant, but she knew their kind well enough to not try their wares.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Driving over the rutted terrain, she surveyed the damage done. It was extensive in places with dark rivulets cut through the dunes leaving lines of muddy sand etched in arching lines. It was quiet though, even in town. There were fewer people still at the bar. It was eerie but not enough to reconsider her plans. She would keep it to one drink here, then drive the supplies back and finish her drinking at home. It seemed a reasonable plan. Unfortunately, it was all about to fall apart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It started with a whisper, drifting through the quiet of the bar. Word of a stranger, one that made them all nervous, one that had sent most of the colonists into hiding in their homes. She couldn’t quite catch the drift, just that there was an unnamed danger in the vicinity. She wasn’t about to let that spoil her night and she returned her attention to her drink and the oblivion it would eventually provide.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would never have taken you for a coward.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The voice rang out from the entrance of the bar. It startled the remaining customers and sent them skittering like roaches to the darker reaches of the room. The voice was impossible. It was different. It was the same. And so she turned on her barstool and faced her greatest ghost, suddenly brought back to life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven had been searching for months. She’d combed the quadrants. It was no easy task but she’d had little choice. Her anger fueled her though and pushed her forward. It was disappointing when she realized Janeway was beyond her reach, when she’d found her sister Phoebe but it had lead nowhere. When she found that not only had Janeway resigned when he mother had first fallen ill but when her mother did not recover, she’d disappeared entirely. She’d fought with Phoebe. Then there was a report of her stealing a shuttle craft. All that was nearly five years in the past now. Seven had an ice cold trail but she was determined. And her anger found a way to ignite a few leads.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While she hid it well these days, Seven was still part Borg and it was on that part she was forced to rely on her hunt. Astrometric charts and stellar cartography flooded her cortical node as she relentlessly crossed off the places Janeway wasn’t. Her search grew broader until it encompassed nearly the entire known universe. But there was a blip. A tiny, insignificant report from a rogue source. Seven knew better than to truly trust her connections in the underground but this was the first crumb she’d found. She had to follow it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had led her to this dank, dark bar. It had led her to the one person she had never wished to see again. The one person who had hurt her beyond all others. And yet, as she stared from the doorway, she found the anger stifled by a sudden panic. She felt momentarily choked by it but the anger and the hurt took hold once more. She found her voice and shouted the first hurtful thing she could think. It wasn’t really what she had intended to say but she could see it hit its mark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman that turned toward her was like a ghost herself. Her once vibrant red locks were now shot through with gray that obscured almost all the remaining color. It was bound in a short, twisted braid that was unraveling, leaving large chunks of hair to wildly frame her gaunt face. Her eyes were the most eerie of all, the once fierce fire that was Captain Janeway was long since extinguished. In its place were eyes that were haunted and stormy, eyes that looked without seeing and Seven took a tiny step back, shocked by what her own eyes saw.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing here, Seven?” Her tone was flat, her command mask no longer commanding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I could ask you the same question. But for expediency, I will just answer, I am looking for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sounded different, very different, but her voice hadn’t changed an iota. What was behind it had. As Janeway finally met Seven’s icy blue stare, she found it nearly as haunted as her own. Almost as shocking was her choice of clothing, the loose layers obscuring most of her remaining implants. Frankly, they both looked a bit like pirates. But she supposed that is what they’d both become, if the rumors were true.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rumors were never true though. That was life in the new Federation. Truth was mutable, malleable. The once high ideals had transformed themselves into some selfish ends. It had started with the Dominion War but that was only the beginning. While Voyager had escaped the entire conflict, both its Captain and rescued Borg bore great scars from the aftermath. Neither had any idea about the other. Janeway had always been expert at hiding herself, a trait that Seven had assimilated as well. It didn’t suit her though. As she stared into those eyes she’d once known so well, her anger sparked and was immediately met by an old ember that twisted the storm clouds from gray to slate blue. Seven felt her pulse quicken as she held onto her ire with all her might.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, you found me. Not enough?” Even broken she was still a smart ass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—this is not a conversation to be had in public,” Seven wanted out of this whole thing suddenly. It had been a mistake. The woman she knew, the woman she was so angry with, she wasn’t here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You call this public? I don’t think any of those three are even conscious. But what did you expect?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The anger swelled once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You will come, Kathryn Janeway, your presence is required.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just who the hell do you think you are?” Janeway said as she leapt to her feet. Her foot caught the rung of the barstool and she lost her balance, falling heavily upon Seven. With a shock, she jumped back but continued to stare at Seven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well I can see when you’ve dug in, that hasn’t changed in all these years. Do you have a transport? If not, you can ride with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just a little update. Thanks for all the comments and kudos so far.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As promised. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They drove in silence through dark, the rough terrain highlighted by the the light of the twin moons. Seven was reluctant to let Janeway drive but she showed no signs of inebriation. It was not worth the fight. So she had climbed into the door-less runabout, still glowering, her eyes pointed to the inky horizon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cabin lay about twenty minutes from what passed for ‘town’ but the drive seemed much longer. Years of silence and hurt stretched between the two women. A chasm of unsaid words seemed to hold both their tongues, mile after mile as the darkness deepened all around them. Finally, Janeway made the final turn, gliding smoothly over the rutted curves left by the storm. She watched Seven slyly, glad that it was night and the barren surroundings were hidden in the gloaming. She was not proud of how hard she had fallen, or of how far, but looking at Seven’s aged features, she knew she was not the only one broken by the past. Guilt surged through her and she turned away, leaping from the vehicle with remarkable agility.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not much,” she said, trying her best to sound casual. She walked quickly to her front door, leaving her supplies and challenging Seven to follow her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Seven approached the door, a loud mewling noise caught her attention. She jumped back instinctively, looking around for the creature that had made the noise. When she looked back at Janeway, she saw the hint of smile glance over her eyes. Then she surprised Seven further by kneeling down as a furry creature leapt from the scraggy underbrush and right into her arms. Standing, she looked at Seven then down at the ball of fur in her arms. It looked like some cross between a cat and a dog.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“His name is Sam,” Janeway said. “He’s as loyal as they come. They call them kinnea here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam was sniffing at Seven as Janeway fumbled her door open. It was dark inside and not much more welcoming than the bar had been. Seven stood awkwardly, suddenly reminded of a time long ago. She shook her head and remembered why she had come. Clearly, she had not been prepared for what she’d found.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janeway deposited Sam on the floor, flicking on the lights as she moved through the small room. Then wordlessly, she sailed out the still open door and returned moments later with the carton of supplies. She kicked the door shut behind her. Then she walked into the tiny kitchen and tossed the box onto the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven stood staring, surveying her surroundings. It was bleak inside, there were no pictures, no mementos, no hint anyone actually lived here. There were several large empty liquor bottles poking out of a bin. A layer of dust covered many of the surfaces including the empty mantle. The fireplace, though, had been recently used, she noted. She was puzzled by the strangeness of this new Janeway and the errant life she was living. How had it really come to this? Seven began to pile wood for a new fire, Janeway didn’t seem to mind the temperature, but it was freezing in the small cabin. She also didn’t seem to mind Seven building a fire and left her to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t offer you much beyond ration bars and Rai’kaw. I have water as well and this sludge that passes as coffee. Can I tempt you?” She was doing her best to keep her words light as her heart pounded painfully in her throat. She couldn’t imagine why Seven had bothered seeking her out after all these years. The last she’d seen Seven, the lithe blonde was flitting on the arm of her first officer. It had been at the end of the hearings, almost twenty years ago now. The hearings. They had cost her everything and more it seemed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is not a social call. But if you intend to drink more then you better pour me a Rai’kaw as well,” Seven replied, shocking Janeway with just how different she’d become from the Seven in her memory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This stuff is very strong,” she cautioned as she poured.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven leveled her eyes at Janeway from across the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do not presume to know me anymore. Much has changed and I am no longer your subordinate.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whoa there. I wasn’t presuming to know anything. I gave that up long ago. But you are sitting in my house. I don’t think it’s uncalled for to expect a modicum of civility.” The embers were beginning to catch and Janeway turned sharply, drinks in hand, to see Seven stand, still gazing at her handiwork. The flames licked and flicked bringing a warmth to the room that it had seldom known.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She handed Seven the drink then turned to sit in the armchair. Seven took the glass and sat in the other armchair, facing the growing fire instead of Janeway. She was roiling inside. Anger bubbled and was choked by sorrow, regret, too many emotions to separate. She wasn’t sure where to begin. In the old days, her Borg systems could have overridden the emotion, at least categorized it away. But that was twenty years in the past as well. And the first thing she’d kept from Janeway. Clearly it hadn’t been the last. Now she swallowed the bile that was rising, she bit back the tears that threatened, and she looked hard at the woman she once would have given her life for without question.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why did you not tell me?” Seven was supposed to be asking for help here, for the resistance, for Jean-Luc, but what came out was that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell you what, Seven? That they wished we hadn’t made it home! That they wanted you dead? I didn’t want you to know! I wanted you to have the best chance at adjusting. You seemed happy enough with Chakotay the last time I saw you!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven had found those truths in her own research. And Picard had enlightened her as well. He’d also told her this was a fool’s errand. Still she wanted to hear it from Janeway herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You could start there, with Chakotay, as you’re clearly jealous still.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re crazy!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were in love with me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You presume!” Janeway finally reached for her forgotten drink and took a long burning swallow. Seven had yet to manage a sip. She was too intently staring at Janeway, reading her every feature.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I don’t. I know. Chakotay knew. And I left him knowing. But that is ancient history and not why I’m here.” Seven reached for her glass and took a long swallow. Janeway watched as the acrid drink brought tears to the corners of Seven’s eyes. To her credit, she didn’t wince.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam had padded in on his orange and gray paws. He’d climbed up onto Janeway’s lap and was growling low and steady in Seven’s general direction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then why are you here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They need your help.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who’s they? The resistance?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, I suppose. Also Picard could use the help. And I could too,” she added so quietly she hoped it would go unheard. It didn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t really believe you have a chance? Against the Federation? With the old alliances splintering at the seams? Wait, did Seven of Nine just ask for my help or was that the drink talking?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t forgive you if that’s what you’re implying.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It wasn’t but may I ask then, what the hell did I do that was so egregious! You have no idea about me then either!” Sam had abandoned his growling to crawl further up Janeway’s torso to nestle under her neck. Seven watched this all wordlessly, a sudden realization that she did not know everything stretching over her every nerve.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You left me. To the wolves. To Chakotay. And your blasted Federation.” Seven’s voice did crack then, she hadn’t meant to admit any of that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I did. You’re right. I would hate me too. Hey, I do hate me too, but can I tell you, there is more to it. More I never wanted you to know. Now I guess it’s moot.” The drink was working quickly, pulling the two women into a tenuous web, two cautious spiders eyeing the slender silk binding them together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m unsure it will matter. I am not the same either. And everywhere I turn, I find this horrible stink of complacency. Picard was just the same when he stormed into my house. I didn’t beg him and I won’t beg you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh Seven,” it was barely audible. Janeway hadn’t meant to say it at all. But her heart, her dead heart, her frozen heart, broke all over again hearing the hard edged cynicism of Seven’s words. What the hell had they done to her? They were never supposed to harm her. It was in writing. She’d staked the end of her career for it. But it’s seems they’d gotten to her anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Friday!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The drink was getting to Seven as well as she drained her glass. Her eyes were fuzzy and so were her thoughts. She couldn’t deny the slight relief that brought. She also couldn’t take her eyes from Janeway. So much had changed, it was reflected with the flickering light, and yet as Seven stared, she could still make out the fine, strong features of the Captain she once knew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why are you out here, Kathryn?” Seven asked quietly. She’d never called Janeway by her first name before and despite her quiet tones, it felt like it echoed across the small room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janeway’s voice caught in her throat as her heart hammered, making her hands shake slightly. She placed the glass on the table beside her before she could drop it. It was empty anyway. Then she took a steadying breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why were you looking for me, Seven? I’m clearly not—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stopped abruptly as images flooded her vision. Her mother. Her mother who she could not save. And the back of Seven, walking away, arm in arm with Chakotay. The terror of realizing she’d given her life for a cause now dead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not dead,” Seven replied as if reading her thoughts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you a telepath now as well?” Still the biting words escaped. She was hurt too. She’d never admit to that, not directly anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Perhaps I still do know you,” Seven’s eyes had softened. She wanted to explain. She wanted explanations. Nothing in the records, official and unofficial, had been illustrative. “And I know what broke your heart, at least where the Federation is concerned. It’s why I’m here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then maybe you better explain,” Janeway replied, still hurt that Seven hadn’t reached out for her until now. And even now, it wasn’t for the reason Janeway craved, it was out of a duty and frankly desperation. She knew it was selfish of her but her heart had grown bitter and any sense of her honor had died with her mother. Now there was nothing to fight for, or so it seemed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well you know the beginning, the endless briefings, whatever deal you struck to save me did just that, officially. But unofficially, it was a different story. Section 31 in particular. But they underestimated me, unlike the others, and thanks to you, I was far more familiar with Starfleet tactics and their particular brand of treachery. I found out later that I was one of the lucky ones.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven drained her glass and placed it on the table next to Janeway’s. Her eyes were set on the fire now, her thoughts bouncing on the undulating flames. The terror of those years shot through her as vivid as if it was happening all over again. Her hands shook as she fought to control the emotions that were overwhelming her. She couldn’t control her stomach though and she rose quickly but not in time, barely making it to the small metallic sink before vomiting convulsively.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Whether it was the vibrancy of her memory or the Rai’kaw on an empty stomach really didn’t matter as Seven heaved and heaved. Disturbed by Seven’s sudden turn, Janeway had also leapt to her feet, leaving Sam to leap from her shoulder with an annoyed yowl. She stood, holding Seven’s long loose hair back from the carnage of the sink. The waves of nausea finally began to subside and Seven slumped forward slightly, clearly drained. She allowed Janeway to hand her a damp cloth and then a glass of water before steering her back to the chair. She draped a blanket around Seven’s shivering shoulders before dropping heavily into the other chair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—I’m sorry about that,” Seven said quietly, clearly disturbed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not to worry. Rai’kaw is pretty vicious stuff. I don’t want to tell you how many times I’ve done the same thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Still, that is not why I came,” Seven’s voice echoed in her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, you came to ask a favor of me, though I still don’t know why. And that chore was so distasteful to you, you accepted inebriation over having a real conversation with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I chose inebriation because it still hurts to look at you sober,” Seven’s voice was a whisper but Janeway heard every word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But Chakotay?” Janeway whispered back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Was a phase, a trial, and one that ended poorly several lifetimes ago now,” Seven said with a slightly disgusted sigh. “The only good that came at all was losing my inhibitor, though I have often regretted that as well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You never told me you went through with that,” suddenly it was twenty years ago, the old aches surged over her forgotten heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You—I was trying to break away then, I suppose. It never felt good but I had to, I had to stand on my own, no matter how much I disliked it,” Seven sipped at the water, her haunted eyes drifted back to the fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry you felt that way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t be. It had to happen. And I hold no anger over that. The anger came later. The anger came when you didn’t. You had to have known what they were doing! After Mars at the very least!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mars was their Kristallnacht. It had been in the works long before that though. It had been in the works even as Voyager was in dry dock. I just didn’t know it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kristallnacht? Like the Nazis?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, essentially. They just started rewriting all the rules after that. The core group of bastards were long in place by then. They figured out if they blamed it on the rebels, they could do what they wanted. They’d militarized Starfleet so heavily starting with the Dominion war that they had the brute force to get away with it. They used tactics dictatorial regimes have used for millennia. They divided our Federation into shards and factions and used it to shore up their power. I used the last of my rank trying to dismantle that where I could.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I did not know. I knew you ‘retired’ but there were no details in any record,” Seven said, her face twisted in thought. “I studied Earth’s conflicts for some time after we returned. Humanity is still a bit of a mystery to me and sometimes and I still cannot fathom the depths of brilliance and stupidity. They are both seemingly boundless in humans.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janeway smiled, waiting for the boom. She had missed this, missed Seven. In immeasurable ways she’d missed her but especially this, talking, arguing, always well past rhyme or reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I needed you and you weren’t there,” it was sharp and sudden and once Seven began she found she couldn’t stop. “I had to run and you weren’t there. I finally saw your farm, it was dark and empty and your sister is still angry with you. But it wasn’t you that took me. Broken promises all around!” Her stomach clenched painfully and she realized she needed to eat something. Still she glared at Janeway, twenty years of hurt burning in her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I couldn’t tell you. Not when I thought you had a chance to be happy. And I thought I was keeping you safe. It wasn’t until Mars that I saw what they were really at. But I’d lost you by then. And I was close to losing my mother by then. They’d already boxed me out, I just stepped away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You gave up,” Seven spat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I changed time for you and you walked away!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No kindness is shown to Chakotay in this chapter. You were warned. 😉</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The air was thick in the room as the shadows grew. The fire was waning, it needed more fuel but neither woman moved. Sam had curled up before the dying flames but was keeping a careful eye on Seven, giving an occasional yelping bark in her general direction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wanted to hurt you then. I no longer remember exactly why. I was hurt but I didn’t understand it,” Seven said flatly. “You never said you changed the timeline for me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well I did. And somehow all of this is probably my fault. And I can’t fix it. They made sure of that. I don’t know much anymore but I know I never meant to hurt you, Seven. I never meant to be planet-bound either. In the end, it ruined me. But that’s what they intended. It took me out of their hair. And you clearly paid the price.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That wasn’t how Picard put it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No? I’m sure I came off worse coming from him,” Janeway sneered and thought of pouring another drink.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Actually, no. He said they betrayed you worst of all. They used it all against you, me, your father, your future self. They dragged you and dragged you and still you saved me again. But for what? I asked myself that, a lot,” Seven continued, “not knowing how much you’d given up for me. I could never understand then, why you never sought me out or maybe my invitations were just lost in transit?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven’s anger was getting the better of her again. She found she could not check the hurt she felt, the want of things to be different.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It is your fault, but not for your reasons. It’s your fault because you saved me. Because you saved the Doctor. Because you believed we deserved autonomy and rights like any other citizen of the Federation. Your fight then is our fight now. I was hoping you’d see that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janeway poured herself another drink then but not before pulling two ration packs out from a hidden pocket and tossing one at Seven. They chewed in silence for a long moment, choking down the dry bars. Seven handed Janeway her empty glass and Janeway arched her eyebrow in reply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please. I will not be sick again,” Seven clearly still needed relief and far be it for Kathryn to be withholding of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She filled Seven’s glass. Then she met Seven’s eyes. She didn’t know where to begin. After they returned home, things started sliding and didn’t stop. Not until she finally left Earth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They promoted me to take me out of space. I had to accept, if only to maintain a vote, the vote that kept them from you. And from the Doctor. They wanted you both. And they played dirty to get you. And I acquiesced. I caved. And it made me sick. I couldn’t face myself. And I couldn’t face you, knowing that I’d lost you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you hadn’t.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had. And as you’ve made clear, it was necessary. But not for the reasons I had assumed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s dead you know,” Seven’s voice was flat, just a trace of Borg shielding her emotions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I heard. I’m sorry for that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not. He was not honorable in the end. He feared me. And yet he was so angry that I left him. He lost himself and then sold me out. He was a coward and Section 31 made him pay for that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Section 31? I heard it was a shuttle accident.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Technically it was, one caused by Section 31. He was trying to sell us out at the time. Section 31 thought he was a rebel arms dealer though and made sure he was taken care of. It was no loss.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You keep saying us. Who exactly is us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A band of misfits I suppose you could say. We come from everywhere. Many of us were Borg, others were engineered as artificial life, but denied the same rights as their organic counterparts. Some were experiments and even more were experimented upon. We are all  different but we are  bound together, maybe because our freedom came at a high price, and we cannot stand by and watch as the Federation is torn asunder.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s rather noble.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven’s cheeks flushed at that or perhaps it was the drink.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jean-Luc said the same thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well he is the noble type,” Janeway couldn’t hold back her bitterness from her voice. Picard had always helped her out but he never managed it without passing a little judgment. At least that’s how she saw it. He was the ideal Starfleet Captain. She was the jackass who’d gotten her crew hopelessly lost right out of the gate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This fight is bigger than whatever is trapped between the two of us,” Seven’s voice was solemn, her eyes soft once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what is that exactly?” Janeway drained her glass and placed it back on the table with a soft thud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The fire had burned down to its embers. There was a chill growing in the air. Seven looked hard at Janeway and drained her own glass placing it next to the other on the table. Then she stood and before Kathryn could react, Seven leaned over, placing her hands on Kathryn’s shoulders. Electric charges leapt across her nerves at the light touch and they increased exponentially as she leaned forward and captured Kathryn’s lips with her own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The kiss was short and searing. Then Seven stepped back, breathing hard and looked into Kathryn’s swirling slate eyes. Her hands were still on Kathryn’s shoulders and she could feel the heat rising through the many layers of fabric.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please come with me,” Seven said breathlessly. It was part a plea, part a demand, and all Seven. “I have a shuttle waiting in orbit. I plan on leaving at daybreak.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn continued to stare up at Seven, speechless. That kiss was more than anything her imagination had ever conjured. Knowing she’d been right was all the more galling from where she sat and yet she couldn’t pull away. She wanted for the first time in ages. She wanted Seven. But this might be all she got. She had to accept they’d missed their moment. That didn’t mean she had to go gallivanting off, in search of certain death. Seven’s vagueness was not enough to go on, or was it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t have a spare bed but you are welcome to use mine,” she managed to finally say. “I can tell I won’t be getting much sleep. The bedroom is just through there,” she said pointing to a far corner.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven felt as though she’d been dismissed. She looked at Janeway then looked towards the bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Very well,” she replied, a trace of her old stiffness creeping into her words. “I expect an answer in the morning,” with that said, Seven turned and walked silently into the bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn watched her go as her head swam. She couldn’t believe anything that had happened since Seven had appeared. It didn’t feel real, more like a dream, a waking dream that seemingly had no end. What had just transpired between them?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam sensed her distress and quickly leapt into her lap, his purr-barking low and steady against her. She stroked his soft, dense fur absently, thinking of a past she just couldn’t seem to outrun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all the kudos and the comments! The effect of positive feedback is pretty amazing. ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven could still see in the dark. She could disguise her borgness on the surface but nothing could eradicate the Borg from within her. And so she could see the small room, lit as if by a green tinted sun. It was as desolate as the rest of the abode, not a single adornment. The only oddity was a small felted bed on the floor at the foot of the bed. It was clearly Sam’s but given the circles of fur on the quilt, it was clear that Sam did not sleep there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The hour had grown late and the drink was having its effect. Not to mention the kiss. She hadn’t meant to do that at all. She was, in fact, still angry. Still hurt. Still she’d done it. It was as if she couldn’t not have done it. All those years past slipped away in the tiny space between their lips. It was all true. And the truth of all that time lost punched Seven squarely in the gut. She shouldn’t have done it. It echoed in her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A wave of dizziness washed over her and Seven sat heavily on the corner of the still made bed. As wrecked as the great captain had become, she still made her bed to regulation. Seven felt the heavy quilt beneath her and upon looking closely, realized it must have been her mother’s. The initials GJ were intertwined along the entire border. Another wave of dizziness surprised Seven and she had no choice but to lay down until it passed. As she stretched her arms out, her hand glanced off the corner of something hard and sharp. Her fingers closed over the flat object and she pulled it towards herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a framed picture.  Of the crew of Voyager. It was taken almost a year before their return. Seven was standing right by her side and the Captain was beaming. Happy. Seven turned the glass in her hands to reveal another picture on the reverse. This one was of a couple that looked familiar but one that Seven did not know. They were standing on the shores of a lake, the sun just beginning to set behind them. In the sand at their feet were two small girls standing over a lopsided sandcastle. They were both beaming. It was the same smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven stared at the pictures, turning the frame over and over in her hands. She must have grown sleepy because the next thing she knew, it was morning and there was another creature sleeping next to her in the narrow bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn sat before the dying fire until the last ember smoldered. She stroked Sam absently though he had long since fallen asleep, content to be sharing her warmth. She thought of pouring another drink after Seven had made her exit. She could just reach the bottle though Sam had her pretty much pinned to the chair. Reaching her fingers toward it, she stopped suddenly and recalled her twitching digits. With all that had just transpired she wanted a clear head, one clearer than her own if that was possible. Her own head had just begun to pound, the Rai’kaw exacting it’s revenge. She winced and reached again, this time for the remnants of Seven’s glass of water. She drained it in one gulp but it did little to help her head. Instead she let the images wash over her. She didn’t have the energy to fight them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was her mother. As vivid as she had been in life. Her image hung static before Kathryn’s tired eyes. She missed her mother everyday. It had not diminished. Not an iota. Seeing her now ripped through the already fragile shards of her heart, making it ache with loss. She reached forward, expecting to reach nothing, but grasped her mother’s hand instead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kitten,” Gretchen said softly and Kathryn raised her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mom, how—</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You fell asleep dear. But that’s ok. I’ve been meaning to have a chat with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gretchen was dressed in her farm clothes, dirt from the garden clung to the her well worn jeans. The sleeves of her flannel shirt were rolled up as if she had just stopped planting to speak to her daughter. She looked as she had when Voyager had first set out. Kathryn blinked but found her voice lacking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You shouldn’t be here dear. I know you know that. And as bad as you feel, you’re not dead yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know you think you failed. Failed them. Failed yourself. Failed me. Time is always running out, it’s running out right now. But it hasn’t run out yet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you saying Mom?” Kathryn felt frantic and confused. There was so much she wanted to say but no words tumbled out to support that. Instead, she stared, her brow knitting intensely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look like your father when you do that, you know,” Gretchen smiled. “He’s very proud of you. And by the by, he has a message for you. He says, tuck in your shirt. I love you my Katie, we’ll talk again soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a whirl she was gone and Kathryn slipped into a fitful sleep, twisting in the small chair and eliciting another yowl from Sam.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you are liking the story, please feel free to share the link around!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The light of two suns lit the small cabin at daybreak. Kathryn woke in the chair, disturbing Sam who leapt away with a small growl. She was stiff. Her head throbbed. Why was she in the chair? When had the fire burned all the way out? She’d promised herself she wouldn’t sleep sitting up anymore. What the hell had happened? She hadn’t drunk that much, had she? Then, with a sudden whoosh, it all crashed back to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh shit. Had any of that happened? How could it have happened? It must have been a dream? But when was the last time she’d even dreamed?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart thundered, leaping into her throat as she leapt to her feet. She ignored the screams of her angry muscles and joints as she bolted across the room to her bedroom door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven lay on her side, sound asleep. One hand stretched to the floor and beneath it lay the one picture she had kept.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It hadn’t been a dream. Seven was here. In her bed. Curled up with Sam’s sister Magdalena, Maggie for short. Maggie was jet black and her furry features were a little more angular than Sam’s were. She was just as warm and soft though and she’d made herself quite comfortable in the crook of Seven’s bent arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sensing being watched, Seven’s eyes snapped open to see a pair of small golden eyes staring back at her. Panic surged through her in the unfamiliar surroundings and she jumped back scaring Maggie who jumped away with a hissing bark. It was then Seven’s eyes traveled up, meeting the storm clouds of Kathryn’s tired eyes. They stared for a long minute before Seven gathered herself back up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Morning,” Kathryn finally managed. “Seems Maggie took more of a liking to you than Sam did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven squinted at her as she got to her feet. She looked down at the two small kinnea now twining themselves between Kathryn’s legs, begging for their breakfast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning,” she said stiffly, hiding her addlement behind the rote language.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m going to jump in the shower. I’ll be out shortly. Please don’t leave yet,” and with that, Janeway disappeared leaving Seven to puzzle over the state of things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Last night had been overwhelming and not anything she had expected. She didn’t even know if she should be bringing Janeway anywhere. The person she found here was not one that could help anyone. But the spark was there. Seven felt it as they fought, felt it in that kiss. She really wished she hadn’t done that. It was too good to never repeat. But it was clear that time had passed. If it hadn’t, she wouldn’t have spent the remainder of the night with a cat-dog sharing her bed. But that was neither here nor there. If anything, it highlighted just how different things had become.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But something was nagging at Seven. It was that spark again, she couldn’t leave that, abandon it as she had been abandoned, as much as it would be fitting, it wouldn’t be right. So she reached into her pack for her secret weapon. She carried her quarry into the small kitchen and set to work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my God! Is that real coffee!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A dripping wet, towel clad Kathryn Janeway sprinted from the tiny bathroom leaving a wet, steamy wake behind her. Seven turned around, a broad smile on her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will you come?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Blackmail!” Janeway yelled. “Bribing me with coffee!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a second, Seven believed she meant it. Then she saw the tiny twitch at the corner of Janeway’s tight lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You will come?” There was the plea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, Seven, I will. I must be out of my goddamned mind but I will. Now gimme some coffee, please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven poured out two mugs, handing one to Kathryn who inhaled so deeply Seven thought she might be snorting it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then she took a sip and moaned, moaned so deeply and throughly that Seven shivered with unexpected arousal. This was going to be a long trip.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn drank half the mug before coming up for air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t remember the last time I had real coffee. Years now,” Kathryn’s eyes were distant, staring over the bleak expanse of sand and dunes from the small window in the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do have one provision for this venture,” Kathryn said, her command mask clattered but did not appear, yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven arched her implant, looking twenty years younger as she waited for Kathryn’s demand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sam and Maggie have to come with us. It’s not negotiable. Besides they’re excellent trackers. And you seemed to be bonding quite well with Maggie already. Sam will come around once she tells him to,” Kathryn’s eyes were wide now, her pupils beginning to dilate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You humans and your pets! Fine, anything to get us off this godforsaken rock!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just what is that supposed to mean?” Seven’s capacity for dry insults had only increased with time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Picard and his dog. You and your kinnea. If I didn’t know better, I’d think we were running an animal preserve.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Picard has a dog? What kind of dog?” The coffee was hitting every nerve in Janeway’s brain, speeding along the synapses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I believe he called it a pit-bull? Some ancient earth breed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A pit-bull? Well, life is just full of surprises. It won’t take me long to pack. Once I get dressed, that is,” Kathryn said finally remembering she was only standing there in a damp towel. Then she drained her mug and shot off in the direction of her bedroom leaving Seven to wonder if she’d made the right choice after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all for the comments and kudos. Your encouragement really makes this possible.</p>
<p>PS happy birthday zazzini!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven decided to step outside and survey her surroundings while she waited for Kathryn to pack her scant belongings. She still sipped at the dregs of her coffee as her eyes scanned the barren red brick dust and sand. She could make little out last night even with her enhanced vision. The low swirls of the dunes were of such an even color they created an optical illusion. Seven was glad she hadn’t tried to venture here on foot though finding Janeway in a dank bar was pretty cliché.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam had padded out after her. He kept his big green eyes fixed on her, unsure whether they should trust her regardless of what Maggie already thought. Sam was very protective and this other being had upset Janeway pretty grievously. He didn’t trust her. So he watched and waited, analyzing the variety of scents wafting off of Seven’s clothes and hair. She didn’t smell dangerous. In fact, she smelled almost familiar, but Sam thought, that could just be from sleeping in their bed last night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie padded out behind Sam and she watched him watching Seven. Her black fur shone like onyx under the harsh glare of the double suns. She was content to sit in the patch of warm and observe. She knew something was up but at the moment her belly was full and she was sleepy. She wondered if it would be too soon to climb up on Seven and take a nap on her shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie did not get the chance to explore the answer to that question as Janeway suddenly burst from the house with a clatter. She may not have had much out in this wilderness land but all that she had she was bringing with her. She had no desire to return to this Elba unless she had no other choice. She doubted she’d live long enough for that to matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was heartened that the kinnea had taken to Seven. They could be right little shits when they didn’t like someone. That would have been awkward and thankfully it was moot. She’d never leave them behind, there weren’t many in the wild and these two mush monsters would never make it far. They were too spoiled, mostly by Janeway’s own hand, and now they were hers for life. She was glad they liked Seven. Just in case.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven turned at the sound behind her, startling Sam who bolted back to the shelter of Janeway’s legs. Eyes still narrow, Seven looked from Janeway to two packs and three crates that surrounded her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Travel light?” Seven’s sense of humor had sharpened as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not as much as it looks,” was the terse reply as Seven scoffed but walked closer. “It’s mostly supplies. Some emergency feed for these brats. And a whole crate of phaser rifles and plasma grenades.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that Seven’s implant arched so sharply that Janeway thought it might fly clear off her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a rough neighborhood, what can I say?” There it was again, that spark, only now it had found some kindling to catch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven’s heart started to pound, surprising her, as her eyes locked on Janeway. It was still her, in there somewhere, buried beyond the aching cynicism, past the layers of nihilistic betrayals. It was there and thanks to Seven, the flames now burned. Seven could feel it as her eyes washed over the softer lines of her old mentor. She could sense that immense life force warming up the very air around her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janeway thought perhaps she’d shocked Seven into silence but the longer Seven stared, the more perplexed Janeway became. It was a look on Seven that Kathryn never thought she’d see again. That had been confirmed last night as it became painfully clear that Seven no longer looked to her for guidance. Seven had become her own woman and with that, lost her look of wonderment. It had never been prominent but Kathryn remembered every time Seven had ever gazed at her that way. Often it was at the end of heated discussion, when Kathryn out-argued Seven to the more logical conclusion. Sometimes it was after besting her at Velocity, just when Kathryn was expecting a burst of temper, this look would appear instead. It had been rare but so vibrantly important to Janeway that she didn’t need Seven’s eidetic memory to recall every detail. She stared back at Seven, seeing something old in the newness of things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A loud yowl interrupted their trance as Maggie, unable to contain her curiosity another moment, bounded over to Seven and leapt into her arms. Kathryn looked from Maggie to the shocked look on Seven’s face and erupted into laughter. Laughter! When was the last time she’d laughed? It was infectious and soon Seven had begun to giggle. Sam, not wanting to be outdone by his sister’s antics, bolted over to Seven as well. He leapt up, clinging to Seven’s leg awkwardly before climbing up to join his sister.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Love you love your pets?” Seven said stopping Kathryn’s laughter with a start. She stared slack-jawed at Seven for a long moment before the shimmering shiver of a transporter locked onto the two women, two kinnea, and all of the cargo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They rematerialized on a small shuttle that Janeway realized had employed a cloaking device as it hung high in the upper atmosphere above her cabin. Uncloaked it would have been quite visible to the naked eye. She also noticed it was much more heavily armed than your average shuttle craft with an extra bank of phasers and a full complement of tricobalt torpedoes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seven settled herself into the pilot’s seat, punching in new coordinates at a speed Janeway’s eyes could barely follow. Sam and Maggie had abandoned Seven once they’d rematerialized and they’d made a beeline for the familiar safety of Janeway’s lap. Kathryn had taken the navigator’s seat to the right of Seven. She was still speechless after Seven’s comment and found she could only stare blankly at the suddenly new surroundings.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It only took a few minutes to get them on course but Seven could feel a steady blush rising as six sets of eyes seemed to watch her every move. Where once the silence would have been welcome, Seven found it was beginning to make her anxious. She thought back to those long ago social lessons with the Doctor. They had been pretty ridiculous in retrospect, the blind leading the blind for sure. But they had also made it possible to actually adapt when the time came. She was grateful for the one that had covered small talk, it had been the most useful. Seven found that the chatter she once thought inane and inefficient could, in fact, allay a small amount of her anxiety. A Borg with anxiety! That’s what she got with the inhibitor gone. She did get a whole host of other sensations and emotions as well but the anxiety had lately been the most prevalent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So what happened to the shuttle you stole? I did see that in your file,” not quite small talk but it sufficed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I guess I should tell you I’m a wanted woman. Not one worth pursuing apparently, but there’s still a price on my head,” Kathryn turned her eyes to the coordinates panel before her. She didn’t recognize the course.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That I know. What about the shuttle?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I lost it in a poker game,” Kathryn bluffed, smirking as she watched Seven’s jaw drop. Then Seven smirked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re lying,” she declared, a glint of her old superiority shining through her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How would you know?” Kathryn snapped back but she was actually curious how Seven smelled the bluff.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You never lose at poker, or pool, or velocity for that matter.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well you can knock velocity off that list. I’ve definitely lost a step or two over the years. I bet you could even beat me, now,” she taunted Seven, making it feel like the intervening twenty years had never happened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you are just as competitive, Kathryn, and I would love a rematch if we get the chance.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well that sounds extra ominous, Seven. Where exactly are we going, by the way? I didn’t recognize the coordinates,” Kathryn said a little tensely as she absently stroked Sam’s thick fur. Maggie had grown restless already and had made her way into Seven’s lap, uninvited.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seven looked down at the small, furry creature with golden eyes. Tentatively, she reached out and lightly stroked the soft, black fur. Maggie chirruped gratuitously in response, suckering Seven in still further. Seven continued to run her fingers through Maggie’s fur and was surprised to find she felt calmer. She turned to face Kathryn as she answered the question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You wouldn’t know the coordinates, it’s nearly as far out as this rock,” Seven said. “Almost two days flying from here. It is, it’s where—it’s where my house is.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Turning back, she added, “Our base is not far from there. We can rendezvous with the others within a day. But first we have to get there. Now tell me what really happened to the shuttle? I was kind of hoping it was still intact.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your house,” Kathryn said, practically under her breath. Then she shook her head provoking a sharp yowl from Sam. “The shuttle. The shuttle should have been in a report but I’m not surprised it’s not. As it was Starfleet that blew it up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seven’s eyes grew wide and she momentarily stopped stroking Maggie which produced a yowl of its own.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They did pursue me initially and for awhile I was aboard a space station, hiding out, posing as a bartender. Incidentally, that’s where I developed my taste for Rai’kaw. Anyway, it was on the station that I noticed a strange caste system seemed to be at work and the lowest members were always disappearing. When I tried to find out more I was rebuffed, until one day I overheard some mercenaries talking loudly at the bar about how much Starfleet was paying them to round up these aliens that were such easy picking. So I gathered the few low casters that I had come to know and using that transporter buffer trick, managed to smuggle about twenty of the B’ne’phax off the station. Starfleet caught on but not before we got to warp. They found us not far from here, we were looking for a good place to set down when they attacked. I managed to transport us out just in time. As far as I know, Starfleet counted us as dead, the shuttle was obliterated.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“If they counted you dead, they corrected themselves, your file is very much alive,” Seven replied as she tried to picture Janeway as space station bartender. It wasn’t much of a stretch from where was now but the thought of the great Captain Janeway tending bar to hordes of drunken aliens did not sit well in Seven’s mind’s eye.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I doubt they’ll bother with me until I make my presence known.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. They may not have had eyes on you out here but their scanning technologies have come a long way. None of us is safe when we’re in populated places.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I take it your house is outside of their boundaries,” Janeway couldn’t take her eyes off Seven. Her loose blonde hair framed her face, making her angular cheekbones seem softer than they really were. Her eyes still burned with cold fire and were fixed at point just beyond the warp field.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It is. There is a moon hidden in the shadow of a binary star system. It is a little difficult to navigate that close but that was precisely why I chose it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kathryn wanted to know more about Seven’s recent past but she didn’t want to push her. She had a feeling Seven would tell her when or if she ever wanted her to know. The rise of Section 31 was the most disturbing news she’d delivered. Janeway couldn’t let go of the sinking feeling in her gut. Section 31 was bad news from its inception. There was nothing about secrecy that Janeway found honorable. And they were anything but honorable. They were the jackboots in the night, the secret police, the enforcers. They only seemed to be gaining more power and the thought made Janeway shiver in disgust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sam had passed out cold in her lap and was sending out sleep rays. Janeway felt her own eyes grow heavy, finally falling away from Seven’s visage to close in exhaustion. After another minutes silence, Seven turned to see Kathryn slumped slightly in her chair. She was snoring lightly as was Sam. It was an adorable image to Seven, Kathryn’s cheeks were flushed, her features relaxed, making her look years younger. She held Sam gently, her fingers resting deep in his thick fur. Seven actually sighed as she looked at them, memorizing the image before her. Then she turned back, her attention on the control panels. It would be nearly sixteen hours before they reached her little corner. They had to fly a strange route to avoid the various patrols but Seven was familiar with this game. It did require a little concentration and Seven was slightly relieved that Janeway had fallen asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janeway woke a few hours later. She was stiff and groggy, and just a little bitchy in her disorientation. She got to her feet with a groan and stumbled towards the small cabin at the rear of the shuttle. There was no sonic shower but there was a small washroom and a replicator. She emerged a quarter of an hour later slightly refreshed with a large mug of coffee in her hand. The kinnea both bolted at her, mewling and she realized they needed to eat. She rummaged through the first cargo crate and found their feed bowls. She filled one with water from the replicator and the other with a replicated kibble that they were hungry enough to try. Their usually quarry was absent in space. No keman sand bugs or raiken rats to hunt so Janeway was relieved when they took to the kibble.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” she said thickly as she walked back towards Seven. She stopped just behind Seven’s chair dropping her free hand to Seven’s shoulder. The touch was electric still and for a moment, Seven found she could not reply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Seven finally managed. “Feel free to use the bunk if you like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, that was enough sleep for me right now, thanks,” Janeway replied between gulps of steaming coffee. “I could take the helm though, if you want to grab a little shut eye. How long was I out?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Approximately two point six hours. And you may take the helm if you like, I’m not ready to rest but I do need to stretch my legs a little.” With that Seven began to stand, unfolding her long limbs. She turned around and found herself facing Janeway. The urge to kiss her washed over Seven once more as a long forgotten memory surfaced. It was another shuttle, another time, another missed kiss. Seven took a short sidestep, evading her temptation for the moment. Kathryn eyed her curiously before sliding into the now vacant chair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven returned long minutes later, Sam and Maggie trailing after her. She too held a mug of coffee. Taking the open chair, Seven sat and turned her attention towards Kathryn. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to ask, where to even begin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were right, you know,” Kathryn began instead. She refused to meet Seven’s eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“About what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me. Being in love with you then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My god you are a presumptuous creature!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well my love for you has clearly not faded with time. I did presume you would feel the same.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn turned then, finally facing Seven. She had no response but to gape.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well isn’t this is a fine kettle of fish,” Kathryn said finally. She watched Seven’s brow ripple before she clarified, “it’s an ancient earth saying.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not familiar with that one but if my inference is correct, I concur. I’m not sure I was incorrect when I referred to love as a disease all those years ago.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well it certainly hurts like hell, doesn’t it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven smiled then, warming Janeway’s aching heart. She didn’t know where to take this. Logic told her she should leave it be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It is good to see you, Kathryn.” There it was again. Seven using her first name. Once more it shot through her, making her heart pound and her palms sweat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s good to see you too, Seven. More than I can explain. And I’m so sorry it has been so long,” her voice trailed off as she turned her eyes back to streaking expanse of the stars surrounding them. She didn’t want to make excuses, she couldn’t. It hurt even more to know she could have, should have reached out to Seven. The shame of it washed over her and she took a deep, shuddering breath as she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she found Seven kneeling before her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should have done this then too,” Seven whispered and before  Kathryn could catch up, Seven leaned in and kissed her. Kathryn’s lips parted as Seven’s tongue swept forward begging entrance. Not wanting Seven to pull away, Kathryn’s hand wrapped around the back of Seven’s head, pulling her closer and returning the kiss with a little brute force of her own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a very long moment, Seven sat back on her heels, gasping for breath. Kathryn’s breath was ragged too and she found she could only stare in response. They were perched on the edge of disaster. It would be prudent to take a sharp step back. It was the rational, mature choice. And it was not the one Kathryn made.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, with breath still short, she chased Seven’s lips, surprising them both with the momentum of her movement. It was enough to pull her from her seat and she toppled forward, right onto Seven. Looking down into those sapphire eyes that had haunted her dreams for decades now, she knew she couldn’t fight it anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re right. I never stopped loving you Seven, I’ve loved you—I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love you,” she said, nakedly honest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s a relief,” Seven smiled up at her, the devil glinting in her eyes. “I would have hated to come this far and find that I was wrong after all these years.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know how we do this,” Kathryn said feeling sheepish. Relationships really had never been her strong suit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s easy,” quipped Seven, pulling Kathryn down into another heated kiss. The autopilot beeped annoyingly, interrupting them. Kathryn pulled herself part way up, accepting Seven’s help to get to her feet. She was flushed and every nerve in her body was singing with tension.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven leaned over the instruments panel and made a course correction. Then she looked back at Kathryn and smiled again. “We take it one day at a time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We have terrible timing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice to know that some things don’t change.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were both smiling stupidly by then, half chagrined by all the years of mutual idiocy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’m going to take you up on your offer and go lie down,” Seven said, breaking the moment. “As much as I would prefer to stay here and tease you, there is a bit of tricky flying coming in a few hours. I will be up before then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t get far when the little ship was rocked hard to starboard, bouncing her off her feet and into Kathryn’s lap. Bad timing indeed!</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sensors were going off all around and the comm channels were alight. They were being hailed. Seven was on her feet in an instant. She took the controls from Kathryn as the color drained from her face. Kathryn looked from Seven’s wan features to the view screen. A trio of ships she couldn’t identify were suddenly surrounding them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dammit,” Seven swore. “That’s the border patrol.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Great,” hissed Kathryn. Her fingers itched to take control of the situation but this was Seven’s fight. She had to trust her or this was all for nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We can get away. I—I know a trick,” Seven glanced at Kathryn, her eyes were hard but there was a sheepish tint to them. Kathryn raised an eyebrow in response. Was Seven asking permission? After all these years?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, do it!” Kathryn commanded as a burst of phaser fire rocked the small ship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hang on,” was all Seven managed to say before they were hit hard. Then everything went dark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A little heat, a little phaser fire...</p>
<p>Thanks to Donsie for reminding me that we needed a fight scene.</p>
<p>And thanks to all you wonderful readers and comment writers!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter Eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took a moment for the emergency lighting to kick on but when it did, Kathryn could see Seven deftly returning fire, taking out one of the three ships with the first volley. Her hands moved faster than Janeway could follow. One of the remaining ships tried to tractor them but somehow Seven managed to override it, sending the beam at the other enemy ship. Tangled in their own nets as it were, they couldn’t fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn took the opportunity to unload another barrage of phaser fire as she took to the other station. Seven smiled quickly as her fingers flew over the controls. With a sharp burst, they were suddenly at warp again, free of the remaining patrols. Seven engaged the cloak before sighing deeper than she meant. Kathryn leaned over and patted Seven on the knee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Feel like napping now?” Kathryn joked as the ripples of adrenaline continued to shoot through her nerves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry about that,” Seven said, sheepish again. “I must have forgotten to reengage the cloak after we set out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn stared back, shocked that this was the unapologetic, arrogant, Seven she once knew. She looked down at her own hands. They were dry, the skin crinkling, more like paper than silk. They were her mother’s hands, stiff fingers and all. A bolt of fear surged up her spine and she felt very old. She lost herself in the thought, doubt beginning to cloud her vision. It wasn’t until Seven stood before her, offering her hand, that Kathryn looked up. She allowed Seven to pull her to her feet. Seven’s arms wrapped around her tightly, so tightly all thoughts were squeezed from Kathryn’s mind. All she could think was that Seven’s scent hadn’t changed a bit. Part salty, part ozone, it was almost a metallic musk and Kathryn breathed in deeply. When they broke apart, Kathryn excused herself and disappeared into back of the shuttle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the trip passed without incident. Seven skillfully handled piloting around the edges of the Badlands before evading several more patrol ships. The cloak was very useful, more efficient than any Janeway had ever seen and she wondered about its actual origins. Starfleet was good at many technologies but cloaking wasn’t one of them. Sure, they could do it, but not like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Less  than hour from home, Seven began to feel suddenly apprehensive. She had made no real contact with her team yet, just a positive sub-space signal that she was physically ok. Was she ok? She hadn’t expected to really be returning with Janeway though failure, paradoxically, was not an option. And as always, Janeway proved to be an enigma. Despite all her bravado, Seven was never quite sure about herself where Kathryn Janeway was concerned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sudden onset of nerves surprised her. She wondered for a moment if she was concerned about piloting through the twin stars. Her eyes fell on Kathryn and she realized with a jolt that she did not know how to do whatever this was either. What was more, it could in no way interfere with their mission at hand. It almost had already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>None of these thoughts allayed her anxiety. It continued to mount until she felt the gentle touch of Kathryn’s hands on her shoulders. Instantly, the tension drained away and Seven shuddered with release. She might not know exactly what came next but she did know she could no longer walk away. Whatever may come, they would face it together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The binary stars winked at them in the distance. They would be upon them momentarily and Seven had warned Kathryn to take her seat. The kinnea were objecting loudly to being secured in there small crate. Their cries were drowned out by the sound of the warp drive and the pulsing of the fast approaching suns. Using a maneuver gleaned from Janeway herself, Seven steered them into the tiny gap between the two stars, rocking the shuttle with massive g-forces. Janeway’s heart was in her throat as she watched Seven’s lightning reflexes safely deposit them, shaken but unharmed, into the orbit of a small planet-like moon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few moments later, Seven landed the shuttle on the surface of a barren looking moon. Upon further inspection, Kathryn saw that it was not as much barren as camouflaged. There was a hangar suddenly before them that was barely discernible from the rock of the crater surrounding it. Seven parked the shuttle in the small bay, engaging the cloak before transporting them and the cargo directly inside her front door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Neat trick,” Kathryn quipped, taking a cautious step into hallway before her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was late afternoon by then and the sunlight bent in long shadows across the long expanse of wooden floor. Kathryn could see the exposed beams of the frame of the house. She would have expected Seven’s home to be sleek and ultra modern. This was more like ski chalet, a lot of wood with wide expanses of windows all around. Outside Kathryn could see a small, walled-in garden. It had been terraformed as had the rest of the small moon’s surface. The camouflage was impressive, even fooling Kathryn until she was ensconced in it. Now she breathed a sigh of relief, she had been concerned about how nuts the kinnea would be if they were trapped indoors all day. The garden would more than suffice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a beautiful house, Seven,” Kathryn husked making Seven’s cheeks burn with the compliment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It suffices,” Seven replied. “Though I’m quite fond of it myself. There is a spare bedroom upstairs. Sam and Maggie should be reasonably safe in the garden if you want to let them out,” Seven said disappearing down hallway to the left. “I need to send some messages but then I think we should eat something, maybe have a drink?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn stared at Seven as she returned from the hallway carrying a stack of sheets and towels. She could not believe it was really Seven, saying these words, flirting so openly with her. Seven had become herself in Kathryn’s absence. It stung a bit to realize but the end result was just stunning the hell out her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure, that sounds great,” she managed to mumble as she took the stack of linen from Seven. Their hands brushed in the transfer and the charge of their contact could not be ignored. Seven jumped back before they could get distracted and darted away. Kathryn stood, still holding the linen, pondering whether she should go upstairs or let the wailing kinnea out of their crate. She caved to the mewling, setting the stack to rest on the low coffee-table before opening the crate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam and Maggie dashed out of their crate and froze, unsure of their new surroundings. Cautiously they began to sniff around and sensing no immediate danger, began to play. Kathryn walked to the back door and looked more closely at the garden. Satisfied the walls were high and smooth enough to hold them, Kathryn let the two little beasts out to romp around away from any breakables. The excitement only lasted a few minutes before the trio returned inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Upstairs Kathryn deposited the pile of linen on the bed in the first open room. Unlike her own house, Seven’s walls were littered with images. Many were photographs, some holo-images, all of them clearly bore a significance to Seven. Many of the pictures were of people, some of the faces Kathryn recognized but more were strangers to her eyes. Pulling herself away, Kathryn turned to go get her pack downstairs when an image by the door caught her eye. It was a photo of her, one she had never seen before. Seven must have snapped it but she couldn’t remember her ever having a camera or the Doctor’s holo-imager.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the picture, Kathryn stood in full uniform, framed by the doorway to her ready room on Voyager. Her hair was short and askew, falling forward across her smiling face. She’s looking down, her eyes closed. The top closure of her tunic is undone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn stared hard at the picture, trying to place it exactly. She couldn’t. It was so long ago now. And she’d felt old then? Time is a cruel mistress indeed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A noise below startled Kathryn back to reality and she shook her head to clear the barrage of memory that threatened to rain down on her. She walked downstairs, her ears sharply listening for any sign of ruckus from the kinnea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was quiet downstairs though, the only noise was the clatter of Kathryn picking up her heavy pack. Sam and Maggie had found a couch bathed in sunlight and had fallen asleep there. Shoulders already aching, Kathryn heaved her pack upstairs, dropping it with a thud. There wasn’t that much in it really, some clothes and supplies, a few small tools, and a few mementos from her other life, the one she’d ceded for the woman downstairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Except she was no longer downstairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven stood in the doorway, watching Kathryn tear apart the contents of her bag. It was unreal that she was even here. Seven was never one for imagination but if she didn’t know better, she’d have thought she was dreaming.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Looking for something?” Seven said softly, startling Kathryn nonetheless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gah! Seven, you scared me!” Kathryn yelped before getting to her feet. “I was looking for something but it can wait. How’s your crew?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Confused but that is nothing new. Otherwise they are well. You’ll be meeting them tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You better do more to brief me than that,” Janeway shot back. “Don’t make me walk in cold.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would never do that, Kathryn,” Seven purred. “Now, are you hungry? I don’t know why I’m asking, you never remember to eat. I’m guessing that hasn’t changed either.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Kathryn’s turn to blush now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dinner sounds great, Seven. Just give me a few minutes to get cleaned up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I only have a hydro-shower here, but if you’d like to use it, it’s down the hall. I’ll go get things started downstairs,” Seven said turning away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Seven,” Kathryn called, making her turn. “Thank you. I may not have clue what I’m really doing but I’m glad I’m here. With you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven stared for a long moment letting Kathryn’s words echo in the air. Then she took four long strides and was suddenly standing directly in front of Kathryn but before she could lean forward, Kathryn threw her arms around Seven neck and pulled her into a fiery kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven was flushed and rumpled by the time Kathryn broke the kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now go, get dinner started and let me get cleaned up,” Kathryn half-commanded. Another minute more of that and she wouldn’t be able to stop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven thought of defying her, if only for old times, but she stopped herself. A better plan had come to mind and so she complied leaving Kathryn for the calmness of the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathryn decided to take a quick shower though the variety of aromas drifting into the bathroom were making her growing hunger a priority. She couldn’t tell exactly what Seven was preparing but whatever it was made her stomach growl loudly. Kathryn stripped out of her filthy travel clothes and as she did so, she caught a glimpse of herself in the narrow mirror on the wall. An old woman looked back at her. Seeing Seven had brought back so much she’d nearly forgotten her youth was one of those distant memories. But here, staring in the distortions of the mirror, Kathryn suddenly felt her age. Fear rattled through her. How could she ever think this was a good idea?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thoughts did not abate under the steaming flow of water now did they lessen with the intoxicating combination of lavender and honeysuckle scenting the steamy air around her. They clenched at her as she shakily pulled on a t-shirt which clung clumsily to her still damp skin. The panic continued to rise, speeding to a crescendo as she pulled on a pair of briefs, looking down at her sagging form. Before it could reach one, there was a knock on the door. Flustered, Kathryn flung the door open to see Seven standing there in soft grey pants and loose black t-shirt. She was barefoot and holding a steaming mug of coffee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was going to bring you a cocktail but I thought you might want some coffee first,” Seven smiled shyly, fighting the urge to leer at the sight of Kathryn clad in just a t-shirt and briefs. Her still damp hair clung to her flushed face and Seven found she couldn’t look away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh Seven, thank you,” Kathryn replied, her eyes jumping from the mug to the flush of Seven’s cheeks. She took the mug from Seven and felt the wave of anxiety begin to ebb.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look beautiful, by the way,” Seven added before scampering away from Kathryn and back down the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dumbfounded, Kathryn stood sipping the divine brew, wondering what else Seven had up her sleeve. She had no choice but to hurry into some pants and find out for herself.</p>
<p> </p>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter Twelve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>The sun had set outside and the house was lit with a soft amber light. Kathryn found Seven in the kitchen. She was stirring something that smelled delicious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should have known you’d cook traditionalist,” Kathryn said with a small smile. “It all smells wonderful. And the coffee was perfect. So what are we having?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I did have to replicate some of the ingredients. The yields from the garden are not really enough to make a proper meal. Unless you miss leola root?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You grow that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It can be useful. And it reminds me of Neelix. It seems I too have grown a little sentimental with age. But to answer your question, we are having fried chicken with biscuits, greens, slaw, and potato salad. And for dessert, Katarian chocolate cake that I did have to replicate.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tears sprung to Kathryn’s eyes and she turned sharply away from Seven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where’d you get the recipes for all this?” Kathryn asked, a small hitch in her voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Panic surged through Seven but she answered anyway. “Your sister. I’m sorry if—</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But instead of finishing, Seven killed the heat on the stove and walked around the counter to where Kathryn stood. She embraced her from behind, wrapping her strong arms around the now sobbing Kathryn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s mom’s recipes,” she rasped in words barely intelligible. She turned in Seven’s arms then and buried her damp face against Seven’s neck.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>Seven held her tightly, stroking her back with one hand as Kathryn continued to cry. It wasn’t that she hadn’t mourned Gretchen, she had, but she hadn’t smelled her cooking in a very long time. The sense memory overwhelmed her.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>Slowly Kathryn regained her composure but Seven continued to hold onto her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Seven,” she said as she regained her voice. “It just smells so good. You must have gotten it exactly right.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I am sorry, I should have realized cooking one of your mother’s recipes was insensitive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not insensitive, Seven,” Kathryn said tilting her face up to look into Seven’s eyes. “It’s wonderful.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven’s lips met hers and once again lightning flew between their bodies. Kathryn deepened the kiss, pouring all of her doubt, all of her grief into this one moment. Her hands began to roam over the still sharp curves of Seven’s body. Seven could not contain herself, her fingers flew, seeking the comforting warmth of Kathryn’s skin. Dissatisfied with their position, Seven decided to be bold. She lifted Kathryn from the floor and was surprised to feel Kathryn wrap her legs around Seven’s hips in response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still lip-locked, Seven maneuvered them into the living room. Sam and Maggie had retreated to their crate leaving the couch free. Kathryn lowered her legs back to the floor and sat down, pulling Seven on top of her. They began to move in sync, all those years of want drawing them closer and closer together. Clothing began to fly as their movements grew more frantic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Control shifted between them, neither willing to concede. They toppled off the couch in their enthusiasm and Kathryn landed squarely atop Seven, pinning her. The floor was covered with a thick woolen rug which provided a small amount of cushion and a large amount of abrasion potential.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t you have a bed?” Kathryn gasped as Seven’s lips grazed over her now bare chest. “Oh never mind!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The waves of pleasure were intense, mounting with every point of contact between them. Time ground to a halt as Kathryn returned the attentions in kind, leaving a trail of nips across Seven’s still tight stomach. Not be outdone, Seven flipped them again, giving Kathryn just enough wiggle room to get self conscious. She covered her stomach with one hand but Seven grasped her wrist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are as beautiful now as the first time I laid eyes on you Kathryn Janeway, do not be ashamed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven didn’t wait to be rebuffed but returned to Kathryn’s mouth to kiss her soundly. Unable to argue or even to think, Kathryn returned the kiss, entwining their now naked bodies still further. Back and forth they rolled until Kathryn’s patience got the better of her. She had Seven on her back, moaning, when she finally managed to straddle her hips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Surprised by Kathryn’s forcefulness, Seven spread her legs further apart and she felt Kathryn slide into the gap. Kathryn kissed her, kissed her smooth breasts with their straining nipples, kissed the ripples of her abdomen and the scars that remained there still.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven shuddered and shook with each new motion. She wanted to be able to touch Kathryn as well and so, before things peaked, Seven reached around and pulled Kathryn up to face her. As she did so, her fingers found the heated juncture of Kathryn’s thighs. She slid inside her as she felt Kathryn do the same. The shock was unbelievable as they began to move together, slowly at first. Seven let Kathryn set the pace as their bodies melded further into one another. It was more than either of them had ever imagined. The awkwardness of first times dissipated in the wake of Kathryn’s fingers and Seven’s tongue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rays of light and color exploded, clouding their mutual vision, as they toppled, grasping at each other. Their eyes met for a long moment as their bodies canted and quaked to a rhythm older than time. Another explosion was imminent and they clung desperately to each other, leaving scratches and bite marks in jagged lines over both their bodies. Twenty years of repression was suddenly loosed as Seven finally got to scream for her Captain. To her credit, Kathryn screamed as well, loud enough to frighten the kinnea who bolted in to check on her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven lay on her back, she was winded and she couldn’t see properly, probably because Kathryn had collapsed on top of her. Their breaths were still coming is gasps as Kathryn fought to open her eyes. Squinting down at Seven then back up at the two frightened fur balls staring at her, Kathryn could do nothing but laugh. Her laughter rumbled deep, shaking through Seven’s sweaty limbs until she was laughing as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took a few minutes to still the peals of laughter as tears ran freely down Kathryn’s face. Sam and Maggie had started to yowl by then as they quickly switched from concern to starvation. Kathryn ignored them and looked back through her still teary eyes at Seven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That was—</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Unbelievable,” Seven finished her sentence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They lay there for a few more moments, enjoying the gentle oneness of being so intimately entangled. They might have stayed there indefinitely but the kinnea were not ones to be ignored. Sam climbed up Kathryn’s back in protest and Maggie began to lick at Seven’s face. The sudden involvement of the animals launched Seven and Kathryn into action. Kathryn rolled to one side, dislodging Sam with a yowl. She grabbed for her shirt, tossing Seven’s to her in the process. Now half dressed, they both stood on still shaking legs as Sam and Maggie jumped and trotted around their bare feet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think everyone might need some dinner,” Kathryn said looking goofily at Seven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s ready when you are,” Seven said as she still fought to properly focus her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me feed these beasts first. Did you say something earlier about a drink?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I even have whiskey,” Seven winked as she pulled her pants over her long legs.</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Buzzed and extremely sated, they climbed the stairs together. They paused outside the door of the spare bedroom and it’s still unmade bed. Seven took Kathryn’s hand and pulled her forward, leading her gently into her own room at the end of the hall. There they lay down together as if they’d done it a million times before, their bodies curving instinctively together. Exhaustion swept over their tired, aching limbs and there they fell asleep wrapped inextricably together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A loud rapping noise woke them a few hours later. It was not yet dawn and Seven reached for her plasma rifle after wrapping herself in a thin robe. Kathryn, clad only in a t-shirt and pajama pants, wasn’t about to be left behind and followed Seven as she trailed down the stairs. Sam and Maggie followed Kathryn, they’d been sleeping peacefully in the bed between the two warm women. They were crankiest of all to be woken like this and stomped down on their small paws, hackles raised high.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pounding came once more and this time was followed by a voice, one that Seven’s enhanced hearing recognized. She tossed the rifle onto the side table next to the door before opened a series of locks. The door swept open with a sudden whoosh revealing the last person Kathryn Janeway ever wanted to see in her pajamas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You have returned then,” his voice rumbled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have. I sent you a message. This couldn’t have waited until, I don’t know, dawn?” Seven complained as the lights slowly illuminated the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m afraid it can’t,” Picard said as he stepped into house. It was then that he realized there was another person in the room. His eyes traveled up the stairs and fell on the sleep rumpled visage of Kathryn Janeway. He looked quickly back to Seven. “True to your word. Consider me proved wrong,” he smiled. “Kathryn, it’s good to see you,” he called up to her. “I might suggest getting dressed, the others will be here shortly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven looked from Jean-Luc to Kathryn and back again before taking Jean-Luc’s advice. The two women disappeared upstairs, the sound of their heated discussion reverberated through the floorboards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fifteen minutes later, the trio sat stiffly in the kitchen drinking coffee and tea, respectively. Pleasantries were exchanged but it was clear Jean-Luc was waiting for the others to arrive. Sam and Maggie had decided Picard was ok with them and were currently twining themselves around his legs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was another pounding at the door and Seven rose. Kathryn leapt to her feet as well, following Seven into the living room. She grabbed Seven’s hand before she reached the door. Entwining her fingers with Seven’s metal-tipped ones, Kathryn gave a small squeeze.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>“This is it,” whispered Seven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you, Seven.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you too, Kathryn. I’ve waited a long time to say that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another knock came.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seven kissed Kathryn quickly before flinging open the door and letting in the first rays of a new day.</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I plan on continuing this but I have no idea where it’s going. I’m guessing the next part will have some actual Picard spoilers. </p>
<p>I set out to write an alternate head cannon for those of us worried about Picard. </p>
<p>It was wonderful to write this one. I love writing J7 and for the first time, I felt like it was actually concurrent and new which was really great. I’m looking forward to more soon but this weekend is my anniversary so for now I’m signing off.</p>
<p>Thanks again for helping make this possible!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is very much in progress. Any feedback is very welcome.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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